The off button

Why don't I have this and if I do, why don't I push it? Or does it just not work?

My usual Friday feeling never kicked in on Friday. Partly because the office was quiet and it had been a long day, and partly because I had Thursday off, so the need to go wild was not as great.

I went to the pub anyway. I was neither in the mood for socialising, nor in the mood for drinking. Unusual I know.

I sat there till 11.00pm, not really wanting to be there but pushing on through. Just for the sake of it. Why?

If I had listening to my instincts, I would have had a much more pleasurable night at home in front of the box. But no, I persisted with the evening, not really enjoying anything about it.

I didn't get drunk, I didn't hemorrhage too much cash but I didn't have any fun either.

Why didn't I push to the off button, say no? I still haven't learnt this skill dammit. I wonder how many more non-nights I will have before I do?