And so my Saturday just gone was pretty similar to the one that went before, although slightly less evil I might admit.
I trekked down the motorway (AGAIN) with the mother of all hangovers (AGAIN) and dragged my feet into the hell that is that bastard Ikea (AGAIN) on a Saturday.
Due to my vegetative remedial state the Saturday before, I had bought the wrong bed slats. Arse.
I did manage to find some junk food to follow the fucker of a mission however, which mildly eased my situation. Then promptly and predictably made me feel sick. Standard.
The weekend camping was very good indeed although there was a mistral blowing at night which increased in severity last night. The smug mother and smug sister were all wrapped up in the gently rocking caravan with a fan on to circulate the stifling air temperature.
Myself and my friend on the other hand, were battling it out in the awning whilst lines snapped, tent pegs flew out, poles buckled and the brown dust stuck to our sweaty foreheads.
A pretty terrible nights sleep by all accounts.
I had not expected such discomfort and extreme elements of a July weekend in the south of France. I shall be retiring early this evening. In a bed. In a flat. With a fan.
Monday 30 July 2007
Friday 27 July 2007
Thanx
And then the boss just came over and congratulated me for the prickly pear handling and the smarting eases.
I just hope he doesn't know about the wobbly voice incident....
I just hope he doesn't know about the wobbly voice incident....
Smarting
Tears have pricked the eyes twice in the last twelve hours. I have felt hurt, shocked and angry on both occasions.
The world can be so evil at times, or perhaps I have a touch of PMT.
When the ex texted the words 'You'll never change' last night, he did not mean this is a good way. Although he may well be right, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, to hear it from him was infuriating.
My eyes started to sting as I teetered on the edge of eye leakage. Of course it hurt, but it was also the humiliation that he could still have that effect.
When an irate client called this morning for a good old rant, I was expecting the torrent of abuse and untruths from this prickly pear. I was calm but firm yet his inability to let me have a word in edge ways was incredibly frustrating.
My opinion was not to be heard and when it was, he was up for a fight on every word.
As I put the phone down, my voice wobbled and I had to disappear to the toilets for some deep breaths, a quick snivel and a harsh word with myself.
The feeling of having been stung on the inside and the out seemingly lasts for hours.
I am sure it will subside by home time.
The world can be so evil at times, or perhaps I have a touch of PMT.
When the ex texted the words 'You'll never change' last night, he did not mean this is a good way. Although he may well be right, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, to hear it from him was infuriating.
My eyes started to sting as I teetered on the edge of eye leakage. Of course it hurt, but it was also the humiliation that he could still have that effect.
When an irate client called this morning for a good old rant, I was expecting the torrent of abuse and untruths from this prickly pear. I was calm but firm yet his inability to let me have a word in edge ways was incredibly frustrating.
My opinion was not to be heard and when it was, he was up for a fight on every word.
As I put the phone down, my voice wobbled and I had to disappear to the toilets for some deep breaths, a quick snivel and a harsh word with myself.
The feeling of having been stung on the inside and the out seemingly lasts for hours.
I am sure it will subside by home time.
Wednesday 25 July 2007
Sogging
I woke up at 5.30am this morning to the sound of water. I silently congratulated myself on the 5 1/2 hours of solid sleep I had had and then snuggled down (not strictly true as the temperature is so hot at the moment that one only needs a sheet and I'm sure snuggling is strictly reserved for winter and duvets...) to try and get some more.
After several minutes I realised that was a very long wee my guest seemed to be having, and eventually got up to see if she was setting some kind of world record I should be aware of.
Except the running water wasn't coming from her but the ceiling.
I knocked on my neighbours door above to no avail but heard the sound of running water.
I eventually roused my next door neighbour with the spare keys and we entered the soggy apartment, which was swimming under a good inch of water. Over 70 square metres, that is a significant amount of wet.
When he started to bail the water into a bucket with a dustpan I, as any good neighbour would, trudged downstairs to get similar equipment.
An hour later, the worst of it was up and we opened up the apartment to let the rest dry out. The owners have a 1000 mile drive to cut their holiday short today.
I, on the other hand, will need to replace all my shoes which were underneath the leak. It is never a chore to replace one's shoes.....I'm not so sure they'll feel the same about their Persian rugs.
After several minutes I realised that was a very long wee my guest seemed to be having, and eventually got up to see if she was setting some kind of world record I should be aware of.
Except the running water wasn't coming from her but the ceiling.
I knocked on my neighbours door above to no avail but heard the sound of running water.
I eventually roused my next door neighbour with the spare keys and we entered the soggy apartment, which was swimming under a good inch of water. Over 70 square metres, that is a significant amount of wet.
When he started to bail the water into a bucket with a dustpan I, as any good neighbour would, trudged downstairs to get similar equipment.
An hour later, the worst of it was up and we opened up the apartment to let the rest dry out. The owners have a 1000 mile drive to cut their holiday short today.
I, on the other hand, will need to replace all my shoes which were underneath the leak. It is never a chore to replace one's shoes.....I'm not so sure they'll feel the same about their Persian rugs.
Tuesday 24 July 2007
Weak end
What a shocker. Friday night was reasonably drunken. Three crying girls at various points of the evening, one ranting Irish girl, a sobbing Welsh one and a lurking Mum to be entertained to boot.
The night ended well with the current fave chap joining me in the pub. We chatted lots, laughed a bit, I took the piss out of him a great deal and then we walked home together around 4.30am.
Dearest Mother woke me at 8am the following morning, talking at the top of her voice into her mobile phone....as only mothers can. She was on the phone to my sister, who happened to be in northern France, and it was like she was talking loud enough so that my sister might hear.
Being virtually talentless at sleeping I knew that was it. I was up. I was fuming.
I could barely look at her let alone talk to her and stormed out the flat with my head pounding and my mum knowing better than to ask questions.
I had the day from hell ahead.
After driving 2 hours down the coast and battling with a Saturday Ikea with a hangover, I can honestly say the will to live was weak. Child killing was high on my mental checklist.
Another half an hours drive and I found mum calmly sipping a cold lemonade at the campsite. Although my foul mood had subsided, I can honestly say that I would rather have poked myself repeatedly in the eye than spend the next two hours setting up mum's caravan awning in 30 degree heat.
Much much later, normal balance was restored following my weekend standard fare of salad, chips and a lot of wine.
The night ended well with the current fave chap joining me in the pub. We chatted lots, laughed a bit, I took the piss out of him a great deal and then we walked home together around 4.30am.
Dearest Mother woke me at 8am the following morning, talking at the top of her voice into her mobile phone....as only mothers can. She was on the phone to my sister, who happened to be in northern France, and it was like she was talking loud enough so that my sister might hear.
Being virtually talentless at sleeping I knew that was it. I was up. I was fuming.
I could barely look at her let alone talk to her and stormed out the flat with my head pounding and my mum knowing better than to ask questions.
I had the day from hell ahead.
After driving 2 hours down the coast and battling with a Saturday Ikea with a hangover, I can honestly say the will to live was weak. Child killing was high on my mental checklist.
Another half an hours drive and I found mum calmly sipping a cold lemonade at the campsite. Although my foul mood had subsided, I can honestly say that I would rather have poked myself repeatedly in the eye than spend the next two hours setting up mum's caravan awning in 30 degree heat.
Much much later, normal balance was restored following my weekend standard fare of salad, chips and a lot of wine.
Friday 20 July 2007
Told off...
So my mum is here for a month. It is day 2. I love her muchly and on Saturday, she is going down the coast for 3 weeks. I shall be joining her at weekends but it means the week will be mum-free.
We are very similar you see. Too similar in fact.
I was having a few drinks last night with the green-eyed-cheeky-chappy-ski-instructor-with-dimples. I texted mum at 8pm to say dinner would be late and then phoned at 9 to say I wouldn't be long.
She was cross. She said 'You could have let me know' in an upset mum voice. But 'I did', I replied in whiny child tones.
So that was me, age 30, reprimanded for being late for dinner. Not good.
I blame her mostly for saying on my 30th birthday that I should do whatever I want in life. She obviously didn't mean it.
And although she is not yet whinging about her lack of grandchildren (I need a boyfriend first), she has to understand that in order for this to ever happen, I must be late for dinner due to sitting drinking with green-eyed-cheeky-chappy-ski-instructors-with-dimples. And the like.
We are very similar you see. Too similar in fact.
I was having a few drinks last night with the green-eyed-cheeky-chappy-ski-instructor-with-dimples. I texted mum at 8pm to say dinner would be late and then phoned at 9 to say I wouldn't be long.
She was cross. She said 'You could have let me know' in an upset mum voice. But 'I did', I replied in whiny child tones.
So that was me, age 30, reprimanded for being late for dinner. Not good.
I blame her mostly for saying on my 30th birthday that I should do whatever I want in life. She obviously didn't mean it.
And although she is not yet whinging about her lack of grandchildren (I need a boyfriend first), she has to understand that in order for this to ever happen, I must be late for dinner due to sitting drinking with green-eyed-cheeky-chappy-ski-instructors-with-dimples. And the like.
Tuesday 17 July 2007
Grrrrr
I am tired, bored and grumpy. Boo.
Bored of going out, too bored to stay in, bored at work.
Tired despite two good nights sleep after 10 of very little. If you can't catch up on lost sleep, then why am I still tired?
Grumpy just because. Probably Tuesday blues...probably tiredness...probably boredom.
Whinge, whinge, whinge.
Grrr.
Bored of going out, too bored to stay in, bored at work.
Tired despite two good nights sleep after 10 of very little. If you can't catch up on lost sleep, then why am I still tired?
Grumpy just because. Probably Tuesday blues...probably tiredness...probably boredom.
Whinge, whinge, whinge.
Grrr.
Monday 16 July 2007
Chavtastic
The aforementioned cousin's husband (does that make him a cousin-in-law? I am thinking probably not) is a top drawer chav. Lovable, funny but nevertheless a chav.
He drives a very shiny, very red sports BMW and has lots of gadgets that fall off the back of some very careless lorries, a lot.
There is some sparkly diamond earring and gold chain wearing amongst other things but he is a legend in a shiny tracksuit. His son (second cousin?) is 17. He is of the Burberry cap, tracksuit tucked into white socks and trainers variety. He can't make eye contact with anyone but fair play to even turning up to a BBQ where the minimum age is 30 and the maximum is 76.
His Dad bought him a big exhaust for his boy racer car for his 17th as an incentive to pass his test. This is the very exhaust that set off a car alarm just from driving past it further up our street. I think some tea came out of a few neighbours' noses.
Whilst I don't have any other chav mates or relatives, these chav's are all mine AND I am related to them...which I love because it somehow makes chavness OK.
He drives a very shiny, very red sports BMW and has lots of gadgets that fall off the back of some very careless lorries, a lot.
There is some sparkly diamond earring and gold chain wearing amongst other things but he is a legend in a shiny tracksuit. His son (second cousin?) is 17. He is of the Burberry cap, tracksuit tucked into white socks and trainers variety. He can't make eye contact with anyone but fair play to even turning up to a BBQ where the minimum age is 30 and the maximum is 76.
His Dad bought him a big exhaust for his boy racer car for his 17th as an incentive to pass his test. This is the very exhaust that set off a car alarm just from driving past it further up our street. I think some tea came out of a few neighbours' noses.
Whilst I don't have any other chav mates or relatives, these chav's are all mine AND I am related to them...which I love because it somehow makes chavness OK.
We are family
The weekend was spent in Birmingham, where I am from. Every year we have a big family BBQ and last year this coincided with Father's Day and the scattering of my Dad's ashes.
I went and had a chat with him and the tree that he now is. Lovely but bizarre all the same.
I wasn't sure if I was supposed to feel anything or not. The only thing that came flooding to me was great memories which made me smile and my eyes slightly leak simultaneously.
The BBQ was a great success and we got smashed as is the norm. Drunk uncles, cousins and a sister.
My cousin's husband is always enquiring after our love lives, or lack of. Now with my sister having a chap for the first time in an age, it was me in the firing line. How come I haven't got a man yet?
It's actually a question I get asked all the time and I never know what to answer. 'Um...because I'm incapable??'
He is also the same guy who commented last year that I looked like a bit of a crisp eater....charmed. This year it was backed up with 'See you at the carvery tomorrow, I know you'll be there where there is food involved'.
Family. Always a pleasure, never a chore.
I went and had a chat with him and the tree that he now is. Lovely but bizarre all the same.
I wasn't sure if I was supposed to feel anything or not. The only thing that came flooding to me was great memories which made me smile and my eyes slightly leak simultaneously.
The BBQ was a great success and we got smashed as is the norm. Drunk uncles, cousins and a sister.
My cousin's husband is always enquiring after our love lives, or lack of. Now with my sister having a chap for the first time in an age, it was me in the firing line. How come I haven't got a man yet?
It's actually a question I get asked all the time and I never know what to answer. 'Um...because I'm incapable??'
He is also the same guy who commented last year that I looked like a bit of a crisp eater....charmed. This year it was backed up with 'See you at the carvery tomorrow, I know you'll be there where there is food involved'.
Family. Always a pleasure, never a chore.
Wednesday 11 July 2007
Horoscope
My Facebook horoscope said this:
Gemini: Things have been very exciting lately, and you want to make sure you remember them. Take pictures, or write things down, so the memories last forever.
Not that I believe horoscopes of course….
Have they been exciting? Perhaps. Worthy of writing down? Not sure.
I thought I should write about them regardless and then I can look back and see if they were remotely significant to life as a whole. I severely doubt it.
Over the last few days, things have been disrupted. The following has happened.
I have realised the worth of two friends. Due to the incessant negative behaviour of one, I have finally decided to try and call our friendship a day. I’m not yet sure how this is going to work in a town the size of a smartie and I don’t want to be hurtful.
The sage advice of another has brought our friendship to new heights. She, I am liking muchly.
After friendly advice, open chats and wine, I was able to point out my proximity to repeating a pattern set last year in terms of men. This is interesting as the two men involved push the same mental buttons – they are in fact quite similar animals.
Partying hard is fun from time to time but the effects on my work are terrible. Yesterday I saw what other people see and it wasn’t pretty. Common sense of course, yet slightly disturbing in action.
I can still rock the male friendship thing following last nights antics in Jlp. They tell me all sorts, and in some ways I learn a lot, in other ways what I learn leaves me with diminished hope.
However, getting past the friendship thing is a struggle. I am still working on it.
I don't know if this is from giving off the wrong signals, entering the comfort zone too quickly or whether I'm just unfanciable...
As you can see, not very exciting or eventful but thought provoking for me nevertheless.
Gemini: Things have been very exciting lately, and you want to make sure you remember them. Take pictures, or write things down, so the memories last forever.
Not that I believe horoscopes of course….
Have they been exciting? Perhaps. Worthy of writing down? Not sure.
I thought I should write about them regardless and then I can look back and see if they were remotely significant to life as a whole. I severely doubt it.
Over the last few days, things have been disrupted. The following has happened.
I have realised the worth of two friends. Due to the incessant negative behaviour of one, I have finally decided to try and call our friendship a day. I’m not yet sure how this is going to work in a town the size of a smartie and I don’t want to be hurtful.
The sage advice of another has brought our friendship to new heights. She, I am liking muchly.
After friendly advice, open chats and wine, I was able to point out my proximity to repeating a pattern set last year in terms of men. This is interesting as the two men involved push the same mental buttons – they are in fact quite similar animals.
Partying hard is fun from time to time but the effects on my work are terrible. Yesterday I saw what other people see and it wasn’t pretty. Common sense of course, yet slightly disturbing in action.
I can still rock the male friendship thing following last nights antics in Jlp. They tell me all sorts, and in some ways I learn a lot, in other ways what I learn leaves me with diminished hope.
However, getting past the friendship thing is a struggle. I am still working on it.
I don't know if this is from giving off the wrong signals, entering the comfort zone too quickly or whether I'm just unfanciable...
As you can see, not very exciting or eventful but thought provoking for me nevertheless.
Tuesday 10 July 2007
Christ He was fit
I am fully aware that dreams are of little interest to others....but I need to document this for myself.
I fell back to sleep this morning into one of those heavy vivid dream filled sleeps. Yesterday, I was vaguely arranging a ski holiday - looking into chalets.
This morning, I dreamt we were there, perched on a mountain, having a ball.
Then Jesus walked in.
I am not religious in the slightest but He had the long curly brown locks and it was just Him. He took his clothes off and went swimming in the chalet pool.
He was fit as fuck. I woke up with a smile on my face. Is that wrong?
I fell back to sleep this morning into one of those heavy vivid dream filled sleeps. Yesterday, I was vaguely arranging a ski holiday - looking into chalets.
This morning, I dreamt we were there, perched on a mountain, having a ball.
Then Jesus walked in.
I am not religious in the slightest but He had the long curly brown locks and it was just Him. He took his clothes off and went swimming in the chalet pool.
He was fit as fuck. I woke up with a smile on my face. Is that wrong?
Saturday 7 July 2007
Thursday 5 July 2007
Growling
Bastard fucking Ikea want to deliver some furniture between 7am and 12 on Saturday morning. How evil can you get. If they were a person, I would kindly kill them...or perhaps not so kindly.
The thing is this. I don't actually live where they are delivering the furniture, so I can either get up at 6.30am and wait there or take a blow-up mattress to the place they are delivering it and sleep there the night before. A bit desperate perhaps, but at least it will solve the problem of getting home on Friday night - the delivery spot is round the corner from the pubs.
7am...I ask you.
The thing is this. I don't actually live where they are delivering the furniture, so I can either get up at 6.30am and wait there or take a blow-up mattress to the place they are delivering it and sleep there the night before. A bit desperate perhaps, but at least it will solve the problem of getting home on Friday night - the delivery spot is round the corner from the pubs.
7am...I ask you.
Wednesday 4 July 2007
Made my day
Sent: 04 July 2007 14:59
Subject: RE: Another one bites the dust
you really are a killer queen from the seven seas of rye of Antibes you know what sometimes I just want to jump headlong thru this crazy thing called love .......
Sent: Wed, 4 Jul 2007 09:25:40 +0200
Subject: Another one bites the dust
In a style stolen from another…..
Hopefully you don’t feel under pressure. Summer fever and like everyone in the summer I’m going slightly mad.
However, the show must go on and I want to break free from all the usual Antibes idiots. Let’s face it; I want it all, but that would take some kind of magic.
I’m on a roll so don’t stop me now and never forget that we are the champions.
Loving ya work.
Subject: RE: Another one bites the dust
you really are a killer queen from the seven seas of rye of Antibes you know what sometimes I just want to jump headlong thru this crazy thing called love .......
Sent: Wed, 4 Jul 2007 09:25:40 +0200
Subject: Another one bites the dust
In a style stolen from another…..
Hopefully you don’t feel under pressure. Summer fever and like everyone in the summer I’m going slightly mad.
However, the show must go on and I want to break free from all the usual Antibes idiots. Let’s face it; I want it all, but that would take some kind of magic.
I’m on a roll so don’t stop me now and never forget that we are the champions.
Loving ya work.
Queen
He told me he had a song to play for me.
I couldn't think of any songs about pissed texting or bunny boilers.
I had nothing to worry about.
Loving his work.
I couldn't think of any songs about pissed texting or bunny boilers.
I had nothing to worry about.
Loving his work.
Tuesday 3 July 2007
Another eligible bachelor bites the dust
And I told him so by text when smudged on Sunday.
He said he was 'weirded out' as he didn't know who the text was from - not really the effect I had hoped for, although what I was trying to achieve I have no idea.
Only the copious amounts of cold cider on an empty stomach can tell me that.
I can be a text pest this is true, but not usually quite that random.
Oh the shame.
He said he was 'weirded out' as he didn't know who the text was from - not really the effect I had hoped for, although what I was trying to achieve I have no idea.
Only the copious amounts of cold cider on an empty stomach can tell me that.
I can be a text pest this is true, but not usually quite that random.
Oh the shame.
Monday 2 July 2007
Annoyingly handsome
I saw the ex last night. I see him all the time.
We get on. We have to. Town is small.
It took as a while though but things are pretty chilled between us now. We have mostly different friends, different drinking venues and different interests. Which is nice.
It took us a long time to get to where we are now and we are friends in the loosest of terms but it is always nice to catch up.
Yesterday we were on the same terrace, sipping iced cider on a Sunday afternoon and people watching on the first official day of summer. He was looking suntanned, relaxed and very handsome.
After everything that went down between us, the anger and bitterness between us made him ugly to me and I'm sure I was to him. Relationships falling apart can do this to people it seems.
So yesterday was the first time that enough time had passed, enough ghosts laid to rest that I could see him for what he was during the beginning of our four year relationship.
But bloody hell it's annoying to find one's ex that attractive again.
I've just seen him again (I said town was small) and that still stands. Dammit.
We get on. We have to. Town is small.
It took as a while though but things are pretty chilled between us now. We have mostly different friends, different drinking venues and different interests. Which is nice.
It took us a long time to get to where we are now and we are friends in the loosest of terms but it is always nice to catch up.
Yesterday we were on the same terrace, sipping iced cider on a Sunday afternoon and people watching on the first official day of summer. He was looking suntanned, relaxed and very handsome.
After everything that went down between us, the anger and bitterness between us made him ugly to me and I'm sure I was to him. Relationships falling apart can do this to people it seems.
So yesterday was the first time that enough time had passed, enough ghosts laid to rest that I could see him for what he was during the beginning of our four year relationship.
But bloody hell it's annoying to find one's ex that attractive again.
I've just seen him again (I said town was small) and that still stands. Dammit.
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