A week of ups and downs.

So it's been a whole week since I was last on here for this. It's been a week full of up's and downs, both emotionally and weight wise.

The wedding was fab, my sister was serene and beautiful and it went off without a hitch. The venue was stunning and I ate lots of yummy food - the only disappointment was probably the wedding breakfast but it didn't really matter one bit.

I had such a fab time when I was there, too much alcohol really (practically two all day drinking sessions) but lots of fun. I saw lots of family and friends and if the day and weekend flew by too quickly for me, I can't imagine what it was like for her.
I was pretty low when we got back on Sunday night, too much wine, too little sleep, fantastic weather and place, too much excitement etc. I didn't really manage to shake this until Wednesday but feel great now.

Monday morning saw the scale up to 86kg but after two fried breakfasts, cake, rocky road, alcohol galore, a Mcdonalds, a wedding breakfast and two Pret a Manger sandwiches, it wasn't much of a surprise. That was not all I ate either in those two short days.

Today I'm back down to a solid 84kg again which I'm happy about considering the damage.
I have another week till I see the dietician (I shamefully cancelled tuesday's appointment so I could lose the weekend weight) so I need the scale to move down further to show a loss over the three weeks since I last saw her.

I'm feeling good now and hope to get plenty of exercise and healthy eating in over the weekend. I managed a swim and a run this week but failed to get out of bed early enough this morning to go.

My running partner has managed two runs without me this week including a tempo run. It unleashed my competitive side and I now feel the need to catch up. I'm also painfully aware that she is fairly petite, therefore will find things easier than me.
I have 16 weeks to go from Sunday (to the race) so need to drop a fair few more kilos in that time. I'm thinking to be 75 kilos - 9 less than I am now) might be nice, although more than a little hopeful.

Vino collapso

Not drinking any wine last night - epic fail.
Healthy eating - pass.

Far too much red wine consumed last night to the point I'm feeling a little queasy this morning but I ate white fish, green veggies and a small meat patty thing. The halo I'm wearing over the food is outweighed (literally) but he wine...but never mind.

Exercise is lacking a little this week too, but more out of not enough time and social commitments. I'll definitely get on the crosstrainer tomorrow but I'm lunching today and have the guy coming to fix one of the electric shutters after work. Then I need to head to Carrefour to buy an iron for my new tennant, then print off the photos from my my sister's hen weekend as per last minute request from one of the bridesmaids. Oh and buy a roast chicken for tea and get the boy some shoes to wear to the wedding...ugg.

Then tomorrow, ash cloud depending, I'll be flying home to the UK for the wedding. Whoop whoop!
That is after I've cross-trained, cleaned the flat, done my toes, had a quick and very naughty UV session (the weather has been pants for my desired healthy glow), dropped off the iron and picked up the boy on the way to the airport. I'm weak with the thought.

I'll be taking my gym stuff to the wedding on the off-chance I get to use the gym but I'm not sure how likely that is to be honest.

84kg

The weekend's activities saw a high of 85kg's on Monday morning, which is back down to 84kg this morning. I'm feeling fairly virtuous and haven't been craving sugar too badly - Day 4.

I'm off to a quay party tonight, not to be confused with a key party. My friend is a deckhand on a yacht and he's having a bbq to celebrate his birthday on the quay with the rest of his crew and a few friends.
I'm going to try and avoid alcohol and I should be able to handle the bbq ok. That said, I'm starving right now so I hope there are some healthier options.

Other news to note - I have just pulled out 6 grey hairs with tweezers in the work bathroom. The light is great for it! I'm sure I'm not supposed to pull them out for some grow-two-back-myth but to be honest, I don't get that many and I'm just glad I didn't get caught in our unisex toilet!

The power of the carb.

My worst fears were true last night and my house guests cooked veggie lasagne, wedges and made a mixed salad.
I tried not to overindulge and it was delicious but I am left feeling bloated, queasy and like I've fallen off the wagon this morning. Pasta in the evening always bloats me and as well as being a binge food/trigger, it just seems to make my digestion sluggish, so I try and avoid it altogether.
The positive side of this was that the carbs made me run my 7km this morning filled with energy. I honestly felt like I could do the whole 7km's again which bodes well for the fact I'm training to do 21km....

My ash cloud refugees have now left (by car!) and I'm left with an empty (if not somewhat grubby) flat and no temptation. Time to reign it back in.

I plan to eat healthily, do plenty of exercise, avoid sugar and stay off the booze until the Saturday wedding. The scary news is that there is something wrong with the car, so if the ash cloud returns, I'll not be able to drive to Calais as outlined in my contingency plan. I'm hoping that by having a contingency plan, I'll not need it - isn't that the way that it works??
I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

As well as running the 7km this morning, I'm going to boxercise after work today to make up for the fact it was cancelled yesterday. As soon as I get my apartment back into order, I want to get going with a whittle my middle/30 day shred kind of plan. I have the dvd, the weights and the knowledge of the abs exercises, I just need to start doing something about it......

Day 3 of no sugar :)

Mostly terrible.

The sugar thing literally lasted one day.
However I'm already on Day 2 again as the only slip up was Saturday.

I can say one thing about the weekend and that is that there was a lot of alcohol involved. A lot.
It was the boy's birthday on Thursday - he turned 28 to my 32. We had many, many drinks until collapsing around the 3am mark. I really must learn to grow up.
Friday night I had a couple of small slices of pizza in the pub and I would have abstained altogether, only it was kind of forced on me. One of my friends had run out to get a couple for everyone to share but noticed that I hadn't had any and then made me eat two by making a big deal out of the fact I only had one slice. I'm not normally hungry when I'm out drinking and never really get the drunken munchies as such - it's the next day when I get out of control, and out of control I got.

Saturday saw a terrible hangover and although I managed a 1.5 hour walk round the Cap d'Antibes, things started to unravel at lunch. I shared a seafood starter which wasn't too naughty apart from the deep-fried white fish, followed by sea bass. We also shared a panna cotta three ways which wasn't so disastrous either.
Late afternoon was a small pot of Ben and Jerry's, a turkish delight and a curly wurly and 10.30pm saw an ordered takeaway of mozzarella sticks, chicken nuggets and onion rings. Not only a random selection of deep-fried shite but also a very immature order of food. Yuk.
I definitely regretted finishing off the boy's chicken wings - sooooo greasy.

Yesterday was a new day and although I didn't eat much, what I did eat was quite frankly rubbish. There was also lots more wine involved although I don't feel too bad today.
In the interest of accountability and for my own personal record, I ate one hard boiled egg, two skinny frankfurter sauages, two slices of ham, crisps, two fishfingers and about 8 french fries. Volume good, content bad. And wine. And a lot more crisps.

This morning I am back to 85kg's which I'm hoping is the sheer amount of salt ingested over the weekend, although I deserve it to be real weight to be honest.

Today is Day 2 of no sugar :) and Day 1 of no alcohol until at least my sister's wedding on Saturday. If I can get there that is....bloody ash cloud.

I currently have 4 refugees in my flat, 2 more than it can handle, as they can't get back to the UK following the Monaco Grand Prix. Having a full house stresses me out and after telling them to sort out dinner tonight, I'm now worried I'll have no control over what they cook.

Will try and upload some photos over the next few days - perhaps some beginning-of-diet body shots.

Anyway, I must do some work...

SUGAR

Well it's 12.07pm and I have thought about sugar about 7 times. Not massive cravings as such, just more like - 'what sweet item can I munch?'

Off out to buy some almond butter at lunchtime to try and add protein to my snack to help curb the cravings. I know a small amount of peanut butter was hitting the spot before but the dietician isn't too keen on that - not a real nut apparently.

Sugar challenge Day 1

The dietician was happy with my progress yesterday - a loss of about 3.5 kilos in 4 weeks.
I'm happy with that too and can see how this slower weight loss and new way of eating, could eventually lead to goal.
I don't feel like I'm on a diet (perhaps because I've been cheating a little but also because I have the odd glass of wine) and generally feel good.
It just makes me wonder how much better I could have done if I hadn't eaten all the sugar that has slipped in there.

Yesterday, after the appointment with her I had a sugar binge, the same as after the last appointment. I don't know whether it is just a reward thing that I don't want to get into the habit of doing or whether it is just a deeply ingrained behaviour.
I was definitely hungry but mostly because it was time to eat.
I went straight to the shop and bought two millefeuilles (custard slices?) and a pack of three skinny toblerone bars. I ate these around my healthy dinner of salmon and veg. Plus two glasses of wine....well it was a bank holiday here yesterday....me? excuses?

Anyway, so here's my plan. My next dietician appointment is in a week and a half (25th) and in between now and then I have two weekends, to include my sister's wedding in the Uk - think booze, food and more importantly cake.
With the exception of perhaps the cake, I plan not to eat any sugar between now and then.
I think this is going to be hard but I'll definitely write how I get on here.

Sugar sugar sugar

Well, it's fair to say I just attacked some biscuits - grrrr. Feeling sickly now and annoyed - it'd been a good day until that point.

Soya yoghurt, strawberries and oats for breakfast then a spinach and rocket salad for lunch with loads of goodies in, to include bulgar wheat, feta, roast veg and a very small leftover chicken strip from the bbq we had on Monday. Yum.

I am definitely going to get some advice from the dietician tomorrow about protein snacks to go with my fruit. I eat too many nuts when I have them so that's ruled out and oatcakes (although this isn't protein) are too moreish and I...er....well....eat more than I should.
I can't eat cheese due to my dairy intolerance/skin issues and soya yoghurt without anything in it, tastes like wallpaper paste.

I've got to get rid of the sugar as well because I'm indulging in it far too often at the moment. I guess my justification is that I'm mostly off the white flour and alcohol so I deserve something. Not good.
I'm going to try and do a week without next week, starting tomorrow.

It's bank holiday here tomorrow and normally I'd go out for a couple of vino's tonight and lie in tomorrow. However although I'm out for dinner tonight, I won't be drinking (I hope) and I'll try and get up to run tomorrow. It's definitely beginning to take over my life albeit in a good way.

I seem to have some sort of shin splints from the running mind you but after some intense internet self diagnosis, I've bought some insoles for my trainers for my wonky feet. I'm hoping these help somewhat. It's worrying as I'm busy collecting sponsorship for the great north run and don't want any kind of hindering injury.

I'd figured if I was training for a half marathon in September, I might as well carry on through the winter and try and get into the London marathon - something I've always wanted to do.
Only to get on the site and realise the ballot has already closed! Surely it was only on last week or something!!
So I've applied through the charity I'm running the GNR with but won't find out till much later in the year. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be.

I can really see the pounds dropping off slowly between now and September. I already feel fitter and sometimes smaller...although not post-biscuit binge. Ugg.

83.5kg (184lbs - 13 stone 2lbs) dehydrated weight

So that's what I was this morning. It shows that I'm definitely doing the right thing although I'm note sure it was a true reading...based on the amount of wine I had yesterday. I tend to find the scale reads lower after booze - an effect of the dehydration I imagine. Not good.

I was a solid 84 over the weekend though, which is back to my pre-Xmas weight at least. 4.5 months to lose the Xmas weight...eek.

I'm still really struggling with sugar cravings and issues. I'm not proud of the fact I nicked a few biscuits from my colleagues draw last week and again this morning. Last week I was feeling shakey after a run and this morning was due to a hangover. It just goes to show that I can't be trusted to be good with food with a hangover.

I also ate quite a bit of chocolate over the weekend - a bounty, a dairy milk, a yorkie and then some liquorice allsorts. The rest of the weekend was pretty good food-wise and very limited wine on fri and sat. Yesterday was another story.

I'm going to try and cut out the sugar - imagine the difference if I succeed with that!

I'm also struggling to get protein in with every snack, which probably leads to the unbalanced blood sugars and cravings. I'll have to work on this.

On a better note, I used the cross trainer last weds and thursday, ran for 40 mins on Friday tempo running (last 5 mins were walking as got bad stitch), more cross training on Sat and an 8km run on Sunday which took 56 minutes - still too slow!

I plan on boxercise tonight and no alcohol until I see the dietician on Thursday. Plus exercise every day until then although not sure how I'll fit it in tomorrow mind you....

Mini binge

I've been following the dietician's suggestions for nearly three weeks now and this morning I was thinking I hadn't binged for those three weeks. Yes, I have snacked unecessarily on chocolate and other sugary treats but no bingeing.
Then I remembered this morning, a mini-binge I had after the dietician's appointment last week. I had been working in Monaco all day which was quite stressful and had started thinking about sugary treats when the Dairy Milk was wheeled out after lunch. Conscious I couldn't have any before seeing the dietician, I resisted. My thoughts moved on to millefeuille cakes and by the time I was driving towards her house (some 6 hours later), I just knew I was going to try and find something suitable after the appointment.
I found mini almond tarts (think Bakewell tarts without the icing) in a 6 pack and ater four in the car. The remaining two got munched when the boy went down to the car for something and I didn't even feel sick!
Strange how this got shoved away and forgotten about so quickly.

I guess this isn't so bad compared to times past. I'm not supposed to be eating sugar or white flour, so in that sense it was bad. Plus it was that whole thing where I get something in my head and it doesn't leave until I satisfy it - even when the thing I obtain isn't the same as what I was craving in the first place.

This week seems much better. My eating has been cleaner (not yet perfect) and I am feeling positive and determined today.

This morning I was still 85.5kg (13 stone 5lbs) which I guess isn't bad considering the boozy weekend in the Dam and the mini-binge.
I have one more week to try and shift some more off....fingers crossed.

The Dam

I'm fighting off some grumples and negativity this morning following a boozy weekend in Amsterdam for my little sister's hen.
It doesn't help that we (the boy and I) are both so skint this month, it's going to be a struggle to get by.

Firstly, I must report on the dietician appointment last wednesday. My scales showed a 1.5kg - 2kg loss on my scales. Sadly her scales (first time I've weighed on them) weighed 2kg's heavier but I guess it is all relative.
She was pleased with that and so was I guess. It's not the weight loss I've seen before on weightwatchers, but I'll take it. It's not a diet I suppose and more of a lifestyle change - I need to keep remembering that.
I left feeling positive and prepared for my weekend of boozing ahead.

As for Amsterdam, there was inevitably some good and some bad.

I battled my travel/binge demons and started the day (friday) on a hard boiled egg - it would have been more only the boy had eaten the other one that morning. I survived on coffee and an innocent fruit smoothie until late lunch at 2pm where I had a thai chicken salad and a piece of rye bread. I had approximately 5 dutch chips (delicious) and avoided alcohol all day, unlike the other 9 hens who were boozing on and off all day. They actually cheered when I had my first drink! The dietician said not to worry too much and enjoy the weekend away so I decided to relax on the alcohol a little and try and make good choices.
At the Indonesian restaurant in the evening, I had chicken skewers and mixed veg with a bit of sate sauce, no rice.

Saturday saw me get up for a 30 minute run in the rain round Amsterdam. I was so chuffed with myself and it was very beautiful running over bridges and round canals.
I had a couple of mini sausages for breakfast, fruit and yoghurt, two brown rolls with luncheon meat, herbal tea and coffee.....well the breakfast cost €15 and I thought I should make the most of it, plus I'd been for a smug run!
I didn't eat again till dinner time but I knew dinner would be naughty as I'd already checked out the pasta only menu. Dinner was excellent though and included singing waiters, lots of antipasto followed by pasta and an ice cream and fruit platter for dessert. In my head I'd already resigned myself to enjoying it, plus it cost €65 in the end so I'm glad I did. Well worth it for the atmosphere and singing though. A fair amount of alcohol consumed though.

Sunday saw a breakfast of three jammy dodgers and a handful of pringles....we missed breakfast and it took forever to get the hens ready to check out so was starving. Not exactly a great choice I know.
Lunch was a chicken, bacon and avocado salad which was kind of healthy. No bread.

I did indulge in a small portion of chips and sate sauce (best ever) and a piece of rocky road for dinner from Starbucks. Two glasses of red wine on the plane back to France, forced on me by a friend that happened to be on board the plane by surprise and that was it for the day. Not great choices but not great in amount either....

Anyway, I'm back now and back on the wagon. I had a good day yesterday and weighed 85.5 this morning so am at a standstill. Not too much damage done over the weekend.

I'm going to boxercise and pilates tonight and hopefully a run tomorrow if this torrential rain eases off....

I just need to shake the post drinking blues and all will be well. I think exercise and another early night will help.

That is all for now...