weekend shenanigans

I was pretty good with my eating over the weekend although I had some dairy milk (favourite chocolate) and some wine....naughty.

The only time I felt deprived was over cake. I love cake. It was homemade victoria sponge too which is one of my favourites goddam. Anyway, I resisted that as well and the millionaires shortbread but I did get quite drunk which is not so saintly.

I snacked on some roast chicken before I went in case there was no diet friendly food at the party. I never normally do this and it worked a treat as all that was available was pizza, white bread, paté and cake. The wine wasn't ideal, but well deserved after the mornings 9km run.

Sunday I went to a friends for lunch - a lovely south of france spring day which had to be enjoyed with a couple of glasses of rosé. Lunch was pretty healthy mind, bar a slice of white bread that the goats cheese was grilled on.

This morning I was a solid 85 (proving that yesterdays hungover reading of 84 kilos was from dehydration) and hope to be 84 by the time I see the dietician on Thursday. We'll see...

Feeling healthy and less bloated as well as inspired to run after watching yesterdays London Marathon.

On not bingeing

I am trying to get my head round the fact that this weight loss will take time. A long time.
I am learning a new way of eating, not just dieting to reach goal.
This is something I must keep up, and I really think I can.

The dietician told me she firmly believes in the 80/20 rule but at the beginning it is better to operate at 90/10 - which I think I'm doing ok at.
I had one mini chocolate binge last week - 8 chocolates in one sitting, but other than that, things are mostly fine. I'm not sure I could call eating 5 oatcakes instead of 2 a binge as such, but I know every little counts.

Normally weekends are spent hungover and feasting on white carb laden treats, often pastries from the boulangerie and chocolate. Last weekend was healthy all the way which was good and made me feel light.

Even now, 1kg down as of this morning, I feel lighter and energised - I'm sure the lack of alcohol has a lot to do with this mind you....

I haven't binged like I used to in over a week although the day I met with the dietician, there was an incident involving a packet of crunchie biscuits, last supper style gorging.

This morning I have had apple and two teaspoons of nut butter as breakfast, followed by a snack of oats, blueberries and soya yoghurt. I realise I have my breakfast as a snack as such but I'm just not terribly hungry first thing.
I'm looking forward to egg breakfasts this weekend - I love eggs - and not so much looking forward to the run I must do by myself, especially if my car isn't fixed and therefore the local running terrain isn't as interesting. I'd much rather go down and run on the coast.
I'm also looking forward to getting the flat clean and having a sort out. I hate the thought of such chores but the feeling of accomplishment afterwards is very satisfying, much like running.
I'm not so much looking forward to going to a hat birthday party for a friend on Saturday night as I'm trying to avoid alcohol right now. It could be pretty dull and annoying.

I have a small amount of anxiety regarding the weekend after next as I'm travelling to Amsterdam for my sisters hen weekend.
I'm worried about the alcohol consumption for one, it's unavoidable I reckon. I'm also worried about Saturday nights restaurant choice as I've looked at the menu, the only option is white pasta (being a pasta restaurant). This not only bloats me really badly if eaten late at night, but pasta is also a binge trigger for me.
The hangover binge temptation will be aroused at some point I'm sure too, plus I'm supposed to fit in a training run at some point over the weekend - can't see that happening though.
Lastly I'm worried about the travel aspect of the trip as I always binge on journeys like this.
All in all, quite a few worries.

Denial

I just re-read the last post about me blaming the wholewheat wraps and realised I don't really mean that.

When I re-read the crap I've been adding to my diet then that really must be to blame.

Out with the chocolate and oatcakes!

First week of running training and dietician. Ugg.

Weighed myself this morning after one week of following the dietician plan. I was 86.5kg so have only lost .5kg. Rubbish! Plus it is up from earlier in the week by 1kg.
I am mostly blaming the two wholewheat wraps I had last night as I'm not supposed to be having carbs of an evening.

Last night we went supermarket shopping but to a much smaller supermarket, due to the fact we are still car-less. I couldn't get a lot of the things the dietician recommended buying/trying which was more than a bit of a bugger. I'll do a top-up shop at the weekend if we get a car back.

This mornings weigh-in was a little disheartening although I realise I need to eat perfectly and up the exercise a bit more in this next week until I see her.

I managed a run at lunch but really struggled for the 40 mins we ran - read stumbled. My legs felt like lead and I'm wondering if I can still blame tuesdays boxercise class for all the squats and lunges....not sure.
Anyway, I know I'm going to have some bad runs along the way where I really struggle but thank god I was with my running partner today as I would definitely have thrown in the towel after 10 minutes otherwise. I'm pretty good at motivating myself to go running but very bad at persevering when it comes to the actual running if I'm alone. I know I can do it, my body is definitely capable but I need to reach in and find the will power to carry on and not walk.
This weekend will see me tackle my first training run alone - fingers crossed I'll be able to complete it.

My food today has been very good apart from three small chocolates. Not good but an improvement for sure.
I also stopped at two oatcakes today - I'll not be buying these again due to my inability to stop munching them.

Starting to flounder...

I don't know why but I've already started to cheat...in the first week.
The dietician was very firm about alcohol, of which I've not touched drop. I've also severely limited the carbs and cut out the items she asked of me.
However yesterday I ate quite a few chocolates...about 8. From a box at work. I also did a 45 minute run (first of my training and 6.5km) and an hours boxercise class...but I don't think this was enough to cancel them out. Particularly as my evening dinner choice (at a restaurant for a friends birthday) could have been better. I had aubergine parmesan bake with ham and egg in it, when I should have chosen fish and salad or the like. I only drank water though and there was no carbs in it.

Today I've been ok but realise now that I mustn't buy oatcakes as the little packs contain 7 and I should only eat two for a snack. Both yesterday and today I've eaten 5 as a snack in one sitting, and then there was the question of the two marshmallows and two chocolates from next door again.
Other than that the eating has been clean...but this must stop. Now.

I will weigh myself tomorrow morning for the first week's weigh in, but in the meantime I will try and get back on the wagon and remember how determined I am.

I don't need the chocolate and sweet treats and I feel good when I stick to my plan and portion size....must try harder.
I hope to do some cross training tonight and then I have a lunchtime run tomorrow, so fingers crossed the healthy habits will be resumed.

This is my last hope.

D(ietician)-Day

So last Thursday, I finally met up with the dietician that I've been going on about. She ended up coming to the office after work as both our cars have broken down at the moment.
Despite shutting all the doors to my office, she seemed to be shouting out lots of embarrassing facts about weight loss, that made me cringe thinking my two bosses could hear in the office next door. Particularly as I had told my boss that I needed the office to meet up with a trainer about running the Great North Run half marathon in September. I am actually running it but the trainer part was a complete lie.

I was pleased to know that I do make the right choices food-wise and that I actually know quite a bit about nutrition already. However I eat too much (portion sizes are an issue), drink too much wine at the weekends and generally eat too much crap at the weekends...although am good in the week.
Í learnt quite a bit and the plan seems quite flexible as such but I will be avoiding alcohol (as much as possible), white flour products and items with a high G.I.
No treats but I shouldn't feel hungry.

The meeting was not ground-breaking as such - I guess everyone hopes for some sort of miracle answer - but I am feeling reasonably determined and accepting that this is going to be a long process. The alcohol is going to be the tricky one for me and although I have just managed a wine-free weekend (highly unusual for me), I feel there will be challenges ahead in this department.
I like the idea of the accountability and feel like I need the dietician to keep on track. I have asked her to weigh me in two weeks time so we shall see.
I have pledged to see her every two weeks and have had to do some measurements. Next time, we will work on a goal...but personally I am hoping to lose at least two stone by the Great North Run - that is 5 months today. Totally do-able.

This morning I was 85.5 kilos, so the wine-free weekend seems to have paid off so far. I know I shouldn't weigh myself often - I guess once a week would be fine, but I'm so curious and sneaky peeks seem so harmless when the scale is going down....

GNR

I am running the Great North Run in September - so excited and nervous at the same time. I know I'll need to be a couple of stone lighter to do it and I'm hoping the training will help achieve this goal, along with some healthy eating and help from the dietician :)

There are 22.5 weeks to go and the Training schedule for beginners takes 12 weeks. I can already run 6/7km so need to gradually up this to 21km in order to complete the course. My biggest fear is that the training will have to take place over the summer, in temperatures of 30 degrees or so. I can see a lot of early mornings coming up to beat that heat....

I don't particularly enjoy running and I HATE the thought of going but the feeling afterwards is undeniably awesome. I look forward to my body getting stronger and hopefully smaller over time but I also know there are going to be some hard times ahead. Not only in terms of training, but also in terms of holding back on food. I hope to challenge my binge foods and find out exactly when I'm driven to eat mindlessly.

Dietician cancellation

The car broke down last night so we now have two broken down cars - good for the walking exercise though.
Anyway, it broke down on the way to the dietician's appointment but I have managed to reschedule for Thursday. I'm feeling optimistic and motivated...for now.

I've managed to rein in my eating and despite a slight last-supper attitude over the weekend. This morning I was 87kg, with healthy eating planned until thursday's appointment.
I did smell the boy's Easter egg last night....as I've eaten all of mine already. I've got a feeling it's going to sit there for a while.

Healthy lunch destruction

Yesterday wasn't a terrible day. It wasn't a great day either but better than some I've had of late. The good was fruit breakfast, tomato bean salad with balsamic and veg curry. The bad was three chocolate biscuits (those fox's crunch cookie numbers - the devils work!) and a packet of Minstrels...damn the mothership's Easter package.

Today I was ok bar nibbling on leftover easter egg in the kitchen but then I bastardised lunch and made my tomato bean salad, a fat bastard salad by adding creme fraiche and cheese. Ugg.

In a fit of desperation, I texted the dietician and we start on Monday :)

Weekend shocker

My weekend in the UK was a shocker in terms of food but yummy all the same. I am still 87.5 despite (what I'm sure is) a vast salt intake and pmt.
My boy turns into a complete glutton for sandwiches and burgers on return to the UK, and while I can happily leave the burgers alone, I'm a sucker for a Pret-a-Manger sandwich or two. Plus what with the travelling, means we're constantly eating sandwiches of some description.

On top of the sandwiches there was a lot of deep fried stuff (yummy) and chips galore. Oh how I do love an english fat chip.

Back here in the sunshine yesterday, I started off well trying to rein things back in. I had a healthy omelette but then some wine in the sun caused me to lose all resolve and I quickly spiralled out of control. Out of control meant more chips and breadcrumbed veal (fried) plus two scoops of gelato - delicious but not worth it at €4.20!
The sun was nice and all in all a very enjoyable day despite justifying terrible eating with 'its a bank holiday'.

Two giant Galaxy Easter eggs arrived in the mail from the mothership today. Very sweet of her even though I'm 32! The problem is the boy doesn't like chocolate all that much...and I'm supposed to be starting my new regime this week....

On the flipside, I've contacted the dietician again (who hasn't got back to me) to make an appointment, am off to boxing and pilates tonight plus I'm desperately trying to find a Great North run place through various charities. Now that would be something to work towards...

Caught in the act

Despite good intentions I got caught with a microwave heated almond square which was hidden under a napkin and activia yoghurt. The heat caused it to crumble all over the floor at the same time as someone walked into the kitchen.
She noticed, picked up the pieces of the tart and put it into the bin. If I'd have been carrying it normally, it wouldn't have been so bad but it was the hiding...

The shame is still burning my cheeks.

Other than that (which is pretty bad), I've been virtuous.

A clean day

Was 87kg today, down from 88 yesterday despite the three almond tarts I ate.

I didn't get on the cross trainer but walked into work and I feel better today. I did however, wake up thinking of the remaining almond tart, hoping that it had been eaten by the time I got to work.
It hasn't but it has sat out all night and is somewhat hard, stale and unappealing.

I want to try and eat cleanish today although I know there will be a glass of wine at lunch and even leaving drinks after work.....

I used to weight is lbs/stones being British, but since I have lived in France 10 years now, kilos seems easier to understand....not to mention a smaller number to deal with.
That said, I'm in denial to what I weigh in stones :(